


The Heroine and the Vampire

by confessionsofachocoholic



Series: Carry On - Gender Swap AU [1]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, August Wellbelove, Baz is cocky af, Baz is gay and pining, Baz is self-loathing I'm so sorry, Baz likes taking baths, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Devine Grimm, F/F, Magic, Nina (Niall), Peter Bunce, Simone Snow - Freeform, Simone is oblivious, TW: Suicidal thoughts/tendancies, TW: possible Self-Harm, Tyrania Basilia "Baz" Grimm-Pitch, hopefully with a few twists, the chapter format and all that doesn't follow canon exactly, the numpties - Freeform, this is basically just Carry On but some of the characters are gender swapped
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 14:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20293159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confessionsofachocoholic/pseuds/confessionsofachocoholic
Summary: This is basically Carry On with some characters being gender-swapped, because one of my friend's wanted one so I decided to write one!PLEASE READ THE TAGS!





	The Heroine and the Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL IDEATION/POSSIBLE SELF-HARM - there's a bath scene that talks about scalding hot bath water and how it's the closest thing Baz can get to feeling the burning sensation of a flame and Baz decides to "test her limits" and basically immerses herself in the water because we all know Baz is self-destructive. I'm not sure whether it should be classified as suicidal ideation because it isn't explicitly stated that Baz is suicidal, but I do feel like it is heavily implied. Please, please do not read if you think this will trigger you, stay safe!
> 
> I'm pretty unsure about this fic guys, it's been sitting on my USB for a couple of weeks and even though I've tried really hard to make this my own there are going to be parts that are going to be right out of Carry On. Another thing that I want to say is that I'm not planning on re-writing every single chapter or anything like that, I'll probably redo some of the main scenes like 'the stars', the gang working together to solve the case of Natasha Grimm-Pitch's death and Chapter 61, etc.  
Also I'm really scared that I'm not going to do the actual book any justice so especially with the more action-based/fight scenes - for example the dragon scene - just because I generally don't write a lot of action and adventure type fiction and it's all so new any scary! 😵
> 
> All that aside though, I'm about to bloody well YEET myself into this, so here goes nothing, my dudes! 😬

Simone 

I’m stuffing my face with scones as per usual and Peter stares at me with an expression that’s a cross between disgust and amazement. August enters the dining hall, tall and neat, platinum blond hair falling in his brown eyes. He walks to an empty table and sits down, avoiding my gaze on him as I continue to eat my feelings, which are mostly hunger, exhaustion and confusion. Peter is looking at me then August, he’s about to ask a question he already knows the answer to when the sound of large heavy doors swinging open disrupts the dull comfort of an uneventful morning.

The silhouette of a tall and slender young woman blocks the main entrance to the dining hall. I know who it is even before the graceful figure struts into the room, her long pitch-black hair swaying just above her hips. She walks like a model – one hand placed elegantly on her hip her other arm swinging subtly at her side – without fail, as if it were the most natural thing to be so frustratingly perfect. I’m almost completely certain it’s a vampire thing, the way she moves those impossibly long legs, and swishes her delicate hips hypnotically. Everything about her is _sharp_, her cheekbones, winged eyeliner and smirk – sharp enough to cut a man. I don’t even realise I’ve stood up with my hands tightly gripping the table until Peter tugs at my sleave for me to sit down, but I stand my ground.

_Baz _is back. I can stop worrying about not knowing where she is, what she’s plotting_. Finally._

There’s a gasp from the other side of the room and teacup shatters. I glance for the briefest moment to the side to find August is also standing. I cut my gaze back to Baz – you would too if you had a villainous vampire vixen for a roommate. Especially if said roommate had been plotting your death since before you even met. It goes against all logic that Baz would try to kill me right here, right now in front of the whole school, but she’s always had a flair for dramatics, so I keep my guard up.

Tyrania Basilia Grimm-Pitch has come back to haunt the halls of Watford once again.

Baz is back.

Baz

I cast an **_open sesame_** on the main doors to the dining hall. An excessive gesture really, but I am a _Pitch. _A Pitch that’s eight weeks late for school _for fucks sake _– bold and extravagant gestures are absolutely necessary at this point.

Snow is standing, holding onto a table like she’s about to flip the bloody thing. She might actually. I wouldn’t put it past her… I have to look away from her before… Before I do something foolish. I have a reputation to uphold which means I have to at least _try_ to bury the concern deep down where it fucking belongs when I notice how scrawny she is. There’s a gasp and the sound of something breaking from the other side of the room and it’s my excuse to tear my eyes away from Snow, to none other than August Wellbelove. I couldn’t care less about August Wellbelove, so I glare at him. I know I shouldn’t but I’m just so _tired_ and this one slip up truly feels like a victory, even if Wellbelove knowing how little I think of him means he won’t want to keep my secret. Because regardless of what he _wants_ he can’t do anything about it, and neither can I.

I sit down at my table with Devine and Nina, who have made sure to save my seat during my absence. Loyal friends are hard to come by. I can’t help grinning, god I’ve missed them.

“Ladies, what have I missed?”

***

Snow won’t quit staring at me. She even stands up when I walk into the classroom for today’s Greek lesson, which is amusing in an idiotic way.

“Enough, Snow, I’m not the Queen.” I walk away from her and her horribly insistent mumbling the way a super hero walks away from a building that’s about to explode. Or in my case, super villain. That’s not the point though; the point is that I’m walking away from Snow in my usual fashion – coolly, with swagger – as Snow stutters in her usually fashion – clumsy and incoherent.

Before I get the chance to sneer and jeer and turn Snow into a blushing, embarrassed mess, the Minotaur decides to make some snide remark.

“Ms Pitch,” he says, “decided to grace the class with your presence today, I see.”

“Indeed I have, sir.” I reply, gesturing to the rest of the class. “I couldn’t leave my adoring public waiting.”

“Ah yes, modest and humble as always. Let’s see if your grades are as merciful as your fellow class mates.”

“I can’t say I share your concern, sir. After all it _is_ the Greek and Latin lessons my mother insisted on over the summers that has kept me at the top of the class for years.” Mouthing off at the Minotaur like this isn’t going to do me any favours, but it’s also not going to get me in trouble. The Minotaur sighs dejectedly.

“Go take a seat Ms Pitch.”

***

Simone

Baz being back hasn’t changed much yet, except for maybe the fact that I’m less worried she’ll pounce on me and suck me dry now that I know where she is. Thank fuck I can actually relax now! There’s still the issue of her mum though… I don’t know what to do about that, not yet. All I’ve gotten from Baz since she’s been back is glares and sneers and snarky remarks. And today I’m just so tired, all I want to do is _sleep_ – I couldn’t rest at all while Baz was away. Missing. Maybe we should have a chat about that too… Why Baz was missing that is. Peter thinks it’s a bad idea – _“Since when do you and Baz _talk_, Simone?”_ – but I don’t see the harm in trying. Maybe I can figure out what Baz is plotting. But first, I need to rest – can’t expect to figure out a vampire’s evil plan without getting some sleep.

I slip on some sleeping clothes – white t-shirt and grey flannel bottoms – and slip into my covers with a yawn. I hear a door creak open just as I fall into a state of unconsciousness.

Baz 

Snow is fast asleep when I get to the room. Last first time to enter our room for the school year – I had cast a **_‘go to your room’_** on my luggage when I arrived this morning. _Crowley_, I almost didn’t make it back this year. I sigh, deep and relieved before opening up my suitcase and casting **_‘a place for everything, and everything in its place’_** on my belongings, very quietly so as not to disturb Snow. She only stirs very slightly and kicks off her covers – Snow runs hot like a furnace, even in the dead of winter.

Tiredness hangs over me and I’m almost tempted to crawl into bed, but my thirst is more insistent. I have to feed.

***

I get haul my arse back to the dorm from the catacombs, smelling of dust and decay. My leg aches and I feel completely and utterly exhausted, but I know I can’t just bloody well go to bed as I am; so I **_clean as a whistle _**my uniform, grab my pyjamas and run myself a nice, hot bath.

**_“Quiet as a mouse.”_** I cast on the bathroom door, because I’d rather not wake Snow and be accused of plotting at this fucking ungodly hour of the morning.

I cast a **_‘some like it hot’_** on the mass of bubbles in the tub before I sink into the heat of the liquid cacoon. The bathwater is scalding. _Perfect_.

**_“Sparks fly.” _**I cast, pointing my wand above me, watching my flames dance and morph into different shapes to match my stream of consciousness. This is exactly what I needed. Some light and warmth to make up for the freezing, gloomy abyss of the numpties. My Aunt Fiona was fucking pissed when she broke me out of that torturous hovel. I felt like a helpless bloody damsel after the whole fucking ordeal. Weak and defeated, something I pride myself on _never_ being.

_“Front seats for people who haven’t been kidnapped by_ fucking_ numpties, Basilia.” _Fiona had scolded when I attempted to get in the passenger seat.

I inhale the woodsy, smoky, citrusy scent of the bath and will myself to relax. I’m not there now. I’m here. I’m safe. There’s light and warmth and magic, three things I didn’t have with the numpties. The aching in my leg has lessened, but not completely disappeared; I doubt it ever will, if I’m being completely honest with myself.

These baths that are too hot for regular people are the closest I can get to touching a flame without consequence. I was made to handle fire, as the daughter from two long lines of fire magicians, yet if I were to touch it… I, well… I’d turn to ash. My life is just one brutal irony after another. Whatever spiritual overlord is looking down on the world – if there even is one – must really get some sick and twisted amusement from the absolutely pitiful tragedy of a life I have to suffer through. If you could even call it _a_ _life_ – it feels more like merely existing…

I slide further down into the tub until I’m fully immersed. I open my mouth and let bubble after bubble of breath, leave my lungs, treading closer and closer to the brink of unknown territory. Testing my limits. I bolt upright with a splash, coughing and sputtering as I gasp hungrily for air when I can no longer stand it. _Thank Crowley, I had cast that silencing spell._

I gaze upon my fire enchantment, amber serpents dancing over me before coiling in on themselves and shifting into blooming roses. The flames are ethereal and majestic, petals disperse as they transform into something beyond untouchable, as if to mock me.

Unruly bronze ringlets that don’t quite reach strong, broad shoulders.

Wide, boring, blue eyes blinking from above me.

Galaxies of freckles and constellations of moles embellish light-golden skin.

An exquisite, celestial grin adorns her face.

_Simone Snow._

A force to be reckoned with; a ray of sunshine pushing through a gloom of dark storm clouds; a glimmer of hope in a miserable situation; the light at the end of my tunnel; my enemy in a war I never wished to fight; the girl who will be my undoing.

Simone Snow, who I am hopelessly in love with.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you made it to the end of this chapter, thank you so much for reading! 💖☺️
> 
> Constructive criticism and feedback are welcome and very much appreciated as always! 😊


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